2.2.6.3 C: Coping with Problems

Sometimes, a fake caller will contact the helpline. If the caller is harassing you on the helpline, tell the person that their number can be traced and hang up. One way to bypass this is to play an automated message as an initial helpline greeting, if that is possible with your phone line.

Many callers will also feel scared the first time they call, and although they may have thought they were ready to talk, they may hang up the phone.

Remember that they are having a tough time and that this is not about you; do not take it personally.

If the person is not speaking on the other line, they may be crying. It may take them a minute to speak, or they may never talk.

In these situations, you need to keep saying things to help achieve contact. Give them the benefit of the doubt and ask if you can help them. Especially if someone is crying, say something to calm them, such as ‘I am going to take a couple of deep breaths to help calm myself, if you would like to join me.’

They may start talking or they may not feel comfortable enough to talk. If, after that, they decide not to communicate, you can’t be helpful to them, and you need to keep the line open for someone else who may be trying to call in.

After you’ve tried to establish trust and safety, you may need to say something like ‘We are always here to talk, so when you are ready, I would be happy to have you call back. Right now I have to let you go though. Thank you for calling.’

Sometimes, you may get a phone call from someone calling the helpline who is angry that a family member has received advocacy services and who screams into the phone, maybe using aggressive language.

Try not to let them know that you are upset, as that is what they are hoping to do. Do not give them the satisfaction. Keep your voice disinterested, take a deep breath and remember: it’s not about you. They are just targeting their anger about what is going on at you because you are available.

You could say something like ‘I am sorry you feel that way, but I can’t talk to you while you are screaming. I am hanging up now’, and end the call.

You do not have to keep them on the phone hoping their attitude will change; that is not what the helpline is for.

If you suspect that a caller has mental health issues or if the caller’s focus suddenly changes to you (e.g. asking about sexual or personal details) and you are sure that the person is not a survivor, consider ending the call.

Taking inappropriate phone calls is not the job of helpline volunteers. You are there to help people in need who are having a sexual assault related crisis.

If you have a resistant or persistent caller who calls several times in the same evening, make sure to note the number they are calling from and if they have already received services from your helpline.

Stay focused on small steps and problem resolution by focusing the caller on what made them call now and addressing the primary problem or issue that they are having, rather than allowing them to ramble.

It’s okay to end the call firmly but gently.

Be firm about summarizing what you’ve discussed and how they are feeling, and make a safety plan moving forward so that they can act to solve things on their own.

Whenever you end a call, no matter how frustrated, upset or angry you might be with the caller, you must do so politely and respectfully.

You may have a lot of feelings when you get off the phone—and these are normal reactions to have—but it’s important to not react to your feelings when you are on the phone with the caller.

It’s not about your feelings; it’s about listening in order to help the caller figure out what their plan is and giving them the support and validation that they need.

If you need to talk to someone about your feelings regarding a call, that is okay, but you must not do that with the caller themselves. We always want to make sure that we are being polite, respectful, helpful and supportive to everybody that calls the helpline.